OUT – Next batter in

The bowler comes into bowl that dazzling reverse swing and as if magic the batter is blindsided and the bails are flying off the stumps before the batter can blink an eyelid. Batter you say? Wouldn’t that be batsman or batswoman? Well maybe in the past but the times are changing in the new more modern world and society we live in as “The Marylebone Cricket Club has approved amendments to the laws of the game which will see the gender-neutral terms “batter” and “batters” replace batsman” and “batsmen”. (Ref.1).

This well certainly get avid cricket fans talking and raise questions about this change and some “who will deride the change as political correctness can mad.”, however nonetheless these changes are made which not only reflect the fact that women’s cricket is now played but also that society is changing with more acceptance of gender-diverse people in it.

When it comes to using terms that are gender neutral one has to have a balance in the sporting arena. I can see why some people would not agree with this change and perhaps a more balanced approach of people who play the sport be asked their preference of what they be preferred to be called, especially when it comes to games on television. One would hope that this would have been discussed before deciding to make these changes.

At the end of the day the game itself is not changing the rules of how it is played but only the terminology. A person who comes out to bat whether you say batter or batsman still has the same role to play for their team, that does not change. If we can understand that to be a more accepting society which is inclusive of all then we have to make these small tweaks then so be it as long as done with as long as done with some degree of common sense.

It will be interesting to see what other terminology gets changed in cricket and indeed other sports to make them more inclusive or appear to be so to fit in line with the rest of society. Only time will time if it is beneficial for the game or not.

Reference: (Ref. 1): Link to article – https://www.smh.com.au/sport/cricket/dismissed-batsman-out-batter-in-as-mcc-approves-gender-neutral-terms-20210922-p58tz3.html

Bi Visibility Day 2021

Today is Bi Visibility Day which is a chance to be visible and raise awareness about bisexual people.

I am openly bisexual+ (bi+) and because I am it can create invisible barriers when out and about in society or in the workplace.

Being bi+ means I am attracted to men, women and those who are non-binary, trans, gender fluid, queer or identify as such.

This is often not talked about or thought of and often misunderstood by some.

My hope is that one day people will be more aware of gender diverse people, treat us like people recognising that being bi+ is ok and seperate to our identity as a person.

DEALING WITH FEELING STUCK AND BEING STALKED AS A TRANS WOMAN

Have you ever felt as though you are stuck in life or dealing with a particular issue?

Well I would be lying if I never have been in stuck in life or with a particular issue facing in life. Often when we feel this way we look at how we can go around an issue instead of through it which only delays the inevitable occurring or exacerbates the issue. We wonder why we are stuck in life and if we do nothing about it then nothing changes.

So instead if we face how we are feeling in life and our issues then we can work it out moving forwards coming out the other side better and stronger. With this in mind we need to understand what it means to be Stuck. I consider that if you are a Stuck person it means that you are a Sad, tired, unclear, confused, knowing person. So what do I mean by that?

Before we start to delve into this we need to remember that we all have a mental side, an emotional side, our physical being and a spiritual side. This is an important thing to realise that there are four parts to our make up as a human being. Often we forget that we have different sides to us and only are in touch one or some of ourselves as we go about living our daily lives. We often are are only focused on the present moment and emotion and don’t realise that if we incorporated all sides of ourselves then we would become more in-tune with ourselves.

So keeping this in mind we can now look at each component of being Stuck. If we firstly look at being sad this is a normal emotional feeling we all have at some point in our lives. It can be as a result of current or past negative experiences or trauma in our lives. The important thing is recognise that if we are feeling this way so we can deal with it in an appropriate way getting counselling or talking to friends about it so you can move through it and move forwards. Taking time out away from others in your own space learning to separate yourself from your current emotions by meditating and looking upon yourself in the “third eye” is a really useful technique to deal with being sad. Focusing on yourself and reminding yourself of all the things you have to be grateful for helps you get out of feeling sad.

When it comes to being tired it can be for several reasons whether financial or personal or work pressures. It can affect all aspects of our lives because if we feeling mentally tired from work then we don’t feel as energetic. Also it means that emotionally we don’t have as much patience or kindness for others and often forget our spiritual side skipping our meditation or daily spiritual ritual to keep ourselves in check.

When we are sad and tired our thought process is affected an we become unclear in our thinking and decision making. We may make decisions that may not be in our best interests or not the best decision to make at that time. Recognising we are tired and taking time out to rest and rebound with energy is so important. There is nothing to wrong with turning your phone off and going to bed early to get some extra sleep that you need so you gain regain your strength.

You often feel confused as well because you feel unsure of what to do next or feel indecisive. This is natural and understandable reaction to what is happening in our lives at that time as we are unclear as to how to resolve the issue we are dealing with. Stepping back from the issue we are dealing with for a moment remembering to breath helps put things in context more easily. It also helps us to recognise that we may need to speak to someone to help us resolve the issue or just take time out from it doing something we love so that the solution comes to us naturally. I find that by doing something simple like listening to music or going for a walk helps clear my thoughts and re-focus on the issue that needs resolving.

Often when you are sad, tired, unclear and confused you have a knowing that something is wrong even if you can’t your finger on it. So if you can recognise this then you can deal with it. Sometimes you have to sit back for a moment in a quite space to reflect on the issue before this becomes clear. If this doesn’t work then write down the issue on paper as if you are looking from an outsider’s point of view detaching your emotions from the issue and then you can start to see what the solution might be. Also clearing any negative emotion through counselling or listening to meditative music is also useful.

In my own life I recently felt Stuck dealing with being stalked and harassed online and over the phone. As I was dealing with this unfolding situation it brought up feelings from past trauma in my life which naturally made me feel sad. Been able to recognise that at the time and talking to someone about why I was feeling this way was so important to enable me to deal with these feelings. Also taking time out from social media was important to give me some space whilst going through the motions and to work out why I was feeling the way I was.

Been able to recognise my trigger points and things that can bring up issues from the past helps in identifying what I need to do next to deal with the situation. I found that if you do things that you enjoy like having a bath to help you relax changes your mindset. Also by remembering that I am in control of my story and the story I tell myself helped me switch from a state of feeling Stuck back to a normal state feeling content and enjoying life again.

Learning to let go of the past completely is hard and feeling Stuck is natural sometimes however if make steps forwards to take back our own story and feelings we can move forwards feeling happy with clarity of mind and enjoying life again whilst progressing in life in a positive direction.

I can be contacted by coaching, consulting, emceeing and speaking through my website – http://www.melissagriffiths.com.au or by email: melissa@melissagriffiths.com.au or melissa.c.griffiths@gmail.com.

COURAGE

Sometimes we need to dig deep to find the courage from within ourselves to share our story and step outside our comfort zone in doing so. If we take time out and look inside ourselves we will find this courage. When we find this courage and our courageous enough to share our story then we all can make a power of difference in everyone’s lives.

Quinn – First trans and non-binary athlete making history at the Tokyo 2020 Olympics

Whilst it is great to watch athletes competing at the Tokyo 2020 Olympics it is even greater to see a transgender and non-binary athlete ‘Quinn for plays for Canada’ (Ref. 1) competing for a gold medal. “The Canada midfielder came out as trans and non-binary last year” (Ref. 1) and whilst “Quinn won bronze with Team Canada in Rio De Janeiro in 2016” (Ref. 1) it wasn’t till 2020 before they came out.

It must have no doubt a tough decision to make at the time and leading up to making the decision however by doing so it will inspire other younger football players to follow in Quinn’s footsteps. Having they as a pronoun and being referred to as they may seem strange to a lot of people or to some not acceptable or something that should be allowed nonetheless the only thing that really matters is that we respect Quinn’s decision and respect Quinn as a footballer as well regardless of our point of view.

”When they came out, Quinn told the Canadian media that they wanted to be “ a visible figure for young trans folks or people questioning their gender, people exploring their gender…Unfortunately when I was growing up and even going through that process of figuring out myself in college, I didn’t have those people in the public sphere to look up to, really.” It is a shame that Quinn didn’t have anyone to look up to when they were growing up however it is brave and courageous of Quinn to be visible and a role model so that others have someone to look up to.

Often when people have difficult experiences and challenges growing they don’t always use it for good or don’t always overcome them. However for those that do often they share these experiences and challenges and how they overcame then in the hope that others won’t suffer a similar fate or can learn from them. Being a visible figure will no doubt help many now and into the future. It will also inspire a new generation of footballers and encourage more transgender and non-binary people to play sport and compete at the highest level daring to dream to play for Gold at the Olympics for their country like Quinn will be.

Reference 1 (Ref. 1): Link to Article: https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2021/aug/04/quinn-the-olympics-first-out-trans-medalist-aims-for-gold-with-canada

Challenging the “Gender Norm” – What’s your story

We often think of others in society when it comes to gender as either he or she when it fact that is not always the case. Some of us don’t neatly fit into that box that some in society would like us to. For those of us who are gender diverse such as being transgender or gender fluid or non-binary we are challenging the “gender norm” in society just by being living our lives as our true selves. Individually we may be invisible or seemingly off the radar of society however collectively one can only imagine the number of us that live today all over the world.

People often don’t automatically think about or consider that just because someone presents as a male or female that they may actually be transgender or gender fluid or non-binary. They may not necessarily ask someone “What’s your story” when it comes to ones gender and or gender identity.

For some reading this they may have not come across this before or met someone like me or a gender diverse person or even considered in the past what someone’s gender identity is. Being transgender female my gender identity as a female is different to my body at birth of male where as a gender fluid person is fluid in their gender and/or gender identity and a non-binary person identifies as neither gender.

So what does this mean for society? Well it means that the landscape is changing when it comes to what is the new norm when it comes to gender so people understandably may seem a little confused or unsure of the new landscape. It only takes a little bit of research, empathy and understanding for people to grasp the new landscape of gender norms.

I have meet people who are either gender fluid or non-binary and they have their own struggles in life just as we do especially when it comes to getting people to understand them let alone accept them. If we put ourselves in their shoes for a moment before dismissing out of hand that people like this cannot exist or it is not possible for one to be either gender fluid or non-binary. If we also consider that if someone is gender diverse in some way that they still a person with feelings and emotions just like everyone else and put it into perspective that they are just trying to live their lives as best they can as well as authentically as they can.

Being your true authentic self in an often harsh or seemingly uncaring or unaccepting world can be isolating and makes it harder for gender diverse people to be participate in it and feel as they they belong. If people would for a moment re-consider their actions and views to even begin understand someone like me who is gender diverse then maybe we can create a world that is far more tolerant and accepting of gender diverse people and anyone who is outside the norms or diverse in any way creating a better world for all of us to live in .